Overwhelmed

I cannot believe that I have not blogged in about a month...

Shame.
On.
Me.

Have you ever gone through a season in your life where God has revealed so much about Himself- that it's... almost...I don't know, overwhelming? Don't get me wrong-  it's been incredible! but at the same time, I often cannot find the words to even begin describing all that He has taught me in the last 9 months- unless you have about 3 hours to just sit and talk. And let's be honest, who has that kind of spare time these days?

I've come to my computer several times in fact, to blog about all that God has taught me recently, only to find myself staring blankly at the screen, drumming my fingers idly across the keyboard, just praying that my mind could somehow form a cohesive thought that was worth reading. Now, here I am... It's almost midnight. I should be fast asleep in my bed-but I'm wide awake.

My mind is restless.

I blame it on the coffee that I so thoroughly enjoyed late this afternoon, but in all honesty, I don't think it's that...

My spirit has been in tension this Christmas.

It's usually my favorite time of year. I look forward with great anticipation to decorating the house in all of the traditional holiday decor. I simply love listening to various Christmas stations on Pandora- filling the house with sweet melodies sung for the Christ-child. I love the way the house smells at the holidays- a mixture of scented candles, Christmas cookies, and Crayola markers {I have small children. We do lots of crafts this time of year}. I love driving down the street looking at the beautiful Christmas lights and yard displays. And, call me crazy, but I love wrapping gifts. I don't know why- I just do.

But something has been different about this year. The things that I usually love about the holidays have left me somewhat empty...unsatisfied. I couldn't put my finger on what exactly was going on with me until I read a blog post by one of my favorite authors, Jen Hatmaker. In this particular post {which I strongly encourage you to read} Jen describes a similar tension during the holidays that she and her family have battled for years, and their decision to give Christmas back to Jesus. Ya'll, it was as though Jen looked inside my heart, saw what was going on, and wrote a blog post about it.

She.
Nailed.
It.

At least, for my family, that is...

Greg and I have decided that our family will celebrate Christmas a little bit differently from now on. We're still in the process of figuring out what exactly it will look like for us next year, but we want to give Christmas back to Jesus. We've discussed several different ways of celebrating Christmas, but I think I may leave it for another blog post, as this one is getting considerably long.


But we do know this: we want less emphasis on ourselves, and more emphasis on Him.