That is... until the Lord placed me in this particular season of life.
I cannot go into many of the details. Oh, how I wish that I could! Perhaps when it is over and we have closed this chapter of our lives, I will be able to divulge in more detail. Let's just say,this season has required more patience than I can offer in my own strength. And it has only been by God's grace {and perhaps divine intervention} that I have yet to take things into my own hands, because I cannot stand the waiting any longer. Believe me, it has been tempting. Very. Tempting. From our adoption to job promotions and everything in between- it all seems to require patience on my part.
This morning I seemed to be at a breaking point. In my morning quiet time I pleaded with the Lord to fulfill His promises to us...now.
"I'm tired of waiting." I would cry out to Him.
"This is getting really hard." I would whine.
"Can't You do something about it? I would plead.
Silence.
And then, after what seemed like an eternity, that turned out to actually be only minutes, He spoke. It was gentle, but firm. Loving, but full of authority. As an adoring Father speaks to His child.
"Dear One, 'I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.' {Psalm 32:8} Remember, it is I who initiates when to take action. Please, wait for Me. I have only your best interest at heart. And while you are waiting, come and sit at My feet. Enjoy My Everlasting Presence. It is My precious gift to you, child."
It wasn't exactly what I had wanted to hear. I was hoping for something more along the lines of, "I'll get right on that. You've waited long enough. Now seems to be a good time for Me to fulfill My promises to you. Hang on just a second and let Me take care of a few things first." Instead the Lord wants me to continue to wait on Him and enjoy His Presence in the meantime.
As if to sense my displeasure in His response, He lead me to the book of Joshua. Now, most of you at this point would be like, "oh okay. cool." But for me, this has been the third time that the Lord has lead me to read this book in the past 6 months. Obviously, I haven't gotten the message He wishes for me to receive. And low and behold, guess what I saw on the top of the page in Joshua chapter 1? In my own handwriting were these words: The LORD initiates when to take action. Wait on His timing.
BAM!
Message received.
But I am not the only human to have walked the course of history and asked God the same question, "when?" The Israelites were notorious for asking this question. In fact, throughout most of the book of Exodus and into the book of Joshua, you can find them asking, "when will we reach the Promise Land?" Many Biblical scholars believe that the majority of the 40 years that the Israelites spent wandering in the wilderness, actually took place up and down on the banks of the Jordan River, merely hundreds of feet from their promised destination. I'm sure that it must have been extremely difficult to know that you were just on the other side of the river of the Promised Land, and yet, you had to wait in order to cross.
There are many reasons why the Lord brings us through periods of waiting. Sometimes it is a result of our own disbelief and distrust. Sometimes, like Moses, it is because of disobedience. And sometimes, I think it is because there are still valuable lessons that have yet to be learned before you are ready to move on to what's next.
Regardless of the reason why He has asked me to tread through this season of waiting, I know that God always fulfills His promises.
"Not one of the good promises which the LORD had made to the house of Israel failed;
all came to pass."
{Joshua 21:45}
He will fulfill His promise! I so relate to this post! I was there just over a year and a half ago, I knew God had called us to adopt but I also knew He had told us to wait and pay off some debt first. I begged and pleaded for the Lord to move in that situation because I couldn't bear to have our daughter wait for a family any longer. That was when we thought Ethiopia was our path and little did I know our daughter was not in Ethiopia at all. Had I made things happen the way I thought they were supposed to we would still be waiting for a referral and we would have missed our sweet Lucy who the Lord had for us all along! One day when your wait is over you will be able to look back and see just how God was preparing your hearts and how He was ordaining very step of the way. The wait is hard but it is so worth it in the end!
ReplyDeleteI understand exactly where you are right now! We are also in that season. Again. I can't share about it online, but after being in that spot for the duration of my pregnancy and the first year of B's life, the last thing I wanted to do was be placed back in that period of waiting! I love our little life we have right now. Sure, it could always use some tweaking, but I am happy. I just have to remember that this world is not our home. Everything is temporary.
ReplyDeletePraying for endurance for you and I both!
Thank you, ladies for your dear comments, encouragement, and most of all- prayer. I wish so badly that I could say more online, but I can't... and it's hard. But I wanted you both to know how much I appreciate you!
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