Friends, I have a confession to make... I struggle with lust.
And it's not the kind of lust that immediately pops into your mind when you consider the word, either.
I struggle with the lust of praise.
Born a people-pleaser, I have battled with this particular stronghold for as long as I can remember. I thrive off of the praise of others. I crave it- even when I am not consciously seeking it out. Oh, I am the master at pretending to be embarrassed when I am in the spotlight. Embarrassed when people praise me for a job well done. Humbled, even-when others seek out my attention...but deep down... I relish in it. It puffs up my ego. I feel special. I feel sought after. Something to be desired.
And that friends... is a sin.
The Lord makes this inescapably clear in His Word, "I am the Lord, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another..." (Isaiah 42: 8). Then again in Isaiah 48:11 He states, "For My own sake, for My own sake, I will act; For how can My name be profaned? And My glory I will not give to another."
Friends, I was seeking glory for my own name. Often under the banner of giving glory back to the Lord. Finally, I think He had had enough of my attention seeking and broke me of this awful habit this afternoon. His Truth came swift and hard. I had no alternative but to cry out to Him, asking for His forgiveness. Yet He was gentle and far more gracious than I deserve.
It has been my desire from the very beginning of this blog that I would share all that the Lord is working in me- not just the triumphs. Not just the victories. But the messes that I make. The failure. The heartache. The struggle. I do not wish to be merely relate-able to those who read this. It is the deepest cry of my soul that my words will point people to Jesus.
Jesus.
The Author and Perfecter of my soul.
Jesus.
The Healer.
Jesus.
The Redeemer.
Jesus.
The Savior.
Jesus.
The Alpha and Omega.
Jesus.
The Faithful and True.
Jesus.
The Defender.
Jesus.
The King of kings and the Lord of lords.
Jesus.
The Merciful One.
Jesus.
The Prince of Peace.
Jesus.
The Righteous One.
Jesus.
The Lamb that was slain.
Jesus.
The Holy One of Israel.
Jesus.
Almighty God.
I offer up the broken pieces of my heart, asking only that God would somehow use them to HIS glory.
Not my will... but Yours be done.
Megan, I truly appreciate your honesty here. I've sensed the Lord warning me to keep my heart pure as He moves me ahead in my writing. I wrote about this in my last post as well. Thank you for encouraging me with empowering words. I love that the Lord uses these blogs to keep me moving forward.
ReplyDeleteDiana, I am so thrilled to hear that the Lord used my words to speak to you. I often find that I need to bathe each blog post in prayer before I hit publish, because I need the Lord to search my heart and check my motives.
DeleteThank you for stopping by :)
good posting about Beholding HIS Glory
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words!
DeleteSuch powerful words & so very true! That is a a thing that a lot of people struggle with (I think), myself included. Thank you for reminding me - "Not to us, not to us oh Lord, but to Your name be the glory..."
ReplyDeleteSo excited to have found you at 1000+ & to be following your site, now!
Hope you can join me sometime!
Have a great week!
-Heather
stringtownhome.blogspot.com
Heather, I so appreciate your kind words of encouragement! I still wonder at times whether I will ever get over the initial fear of posting something that doesn't show me in the best of light. But, true authenticity will not take place if I don't...
DeleteThank you again for stopping by!
Hi there, I found your blog through Bloggy Moms and am now following along. I love what you've written- it really spoke to my heart and I appreciate your honesty! Stop by my blog if you'd like - http://3sonsplus1.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteHave a great day! Bethany
Thank you, Bethany for your kindness! Truly. It means a lot to me. Now following you as well :)
DeleteThank you Megan for being so transparent...a humbling experience I am sure. If we are all honest with ourselves and each other, lust for praise is something we all crave. It's just a "fleshy" aspect of our human nature. But to be aware of it and acknowledge it's presence in your life is spiritual maturity. He revealed it to you to further mold you into who He is making you to be. Stay strong ~ you're doing a great job! (Praise intended!) :) I blog over at Sew Encouraging...would love for you to stop by!
ReplyDeletewww.sewencouraging.com
Kimberly,
DeleteI so needed your encouragement. Thank you. I stopped by and visited your blog! Love it!! I tried to follow along but it said that the site wasn't available???