Saturday, October 29, 2011

By Way of the Wilderness {Part 1}

{Photo courtesy of Google Images}

"... God led the people around by the way of the wilderness..."
Exodus 13:18

Have you ever spent time in the desert? It is hot. Dry. Often uncomfortable. It is a wasteland. Barren. And it's usually missing something...


Roughly 6 months ago, God led me into a wilderness season of my own. I had recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia  and had to resign from a ministry position that I absolutely loved. My medication made me depressed. I felt isolated, abandoned, and utterly alone. At first I was angry with God. And I harbored bitterness deep within my heart. I did not understand why all of this was happening to me... why those who claimed to love me and care about me had abandoned me during the darkest season of my life. ... and believe me, I tried to put on happy face and look at my circumstances as positively as I could- but it was all a facade. I was too proud to admit to anyone exactly how wounded I really was.

God was desperately trying to get my attention.

A few months later we began experiencing some financial problems. My former salary wasn't much, but it had helped pay the bills. We looked at our budget and began making drastic cuts. No more date nights. No more restaurant outings. No more leisure shopping trips.  And still... it did not seem to be enough. It appeared that no matter what we did, we were struggling to make ends meet. There were times this summer when we were trying to figure out how in the world we were going to feed our family. My life seemed to be spiralling out of control and I didn't know why. My soul felt dry. Barren. A wasteland... in need of rain.

God was desperately trying to get my attention.

I cannot recall exactly what day it was-  it was sometime in late July/early August- but God got a hold of me, and finally captured my attention. The Lord revealed to me that He was purposefully leading me into a wilderness season so that I could experience Him in ways that I had never experienced before. He was tenderly drawing me closer to Him. He desired for me to put my full confidence in Him, and noone else. He was leading me into a time of isolation, so to speak, so that I could hear His voice, loud and clear. It became obvious at that point that this new season was going to be a difficult journey, one that I wasn't particularily looking forward to. But I trusted the Lord completely, and let Him lead the way...

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