"Again! Again! Pwwweeeease?! Read it again."
How you can deny the angelic pleading of a three year old is beyond me. Especially when that three year old is your own child. I had already read, 'Green Eggs and Ham' to him twice that very evening; and as I settled down next to him on his bed, he pressed his head against my shoulder and grinned because he knew that I had succumbed to his demands.
I am Sam.
That Sam- I -am!
That Sam- I -am!
I do not like that Sam-I -am.
Do you like green eggs and ham?
I think I read 'Green Eggs and Ham' a total of five times over the course of the evening, and then once more the following morning as he and I sat in line at the school drop off. Who knows? I lost count.
While I was driving home this morning after dropping Rylan off at preschool, I wondered why he was so insistent on reading this particular book over and over again. I know that this is typical behavior for a child his age, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more- that he had a specific reason for wanting only Mommy to read this story to him.
I later came to realize that, to Rylan, my reading 'Green Eggs and Ham' had became synonymous with my presence. Each time I would read this story to him, he had my undivided attention. Apparently, that was exactly what he was craving. My presence.
This children's story provided me with a proverbial slap in the face- and I needed it.
I had lost my focus and did not even realize it until this moment. I had grown far more excited over the response that I was getting on the blog, and the impact that I was having on people I will most likely never meet this side of heaven, than I was in the lives of my own children. Please do not misunderstand me, I love all of you- dearly- and God has used this blog in more ways than I could have ever imagined; but I love my children more.
I still firmly believe that I am taking this blog in the direction the Lord is leading, but I have to wonder if I am doing too much, too soon? Is my current blogging schedule taking too much of my time away from my children?
I have come to the conclusion that yes, it is. I will still be writing a few times throughout the week, and we will still continue the Names of God Bible study- only, it will now be reduced to Monday mornings instead of every single day. And we will still have our Google+ hangout every Monday evening (starting Nov 5th) at 8 CST to further discuss as a community what was taught earlier that day.
Yet again, I have over promised and under-delivered, and I am sorry. Deeply sorry. I do hope that you will forgive me. I just cannot justify the amount of time that I am currently spending on the blog- especially given that this is something extra that I get to do- a hobby so to speak. My first responsibility is to my family.
Thank you, Dr. Seuss, for providing me with this much needed wake up call.