Friday, April 27, 2012

Raising My White Flag

**** WARNING****
This post is not for the faint of heart. 
It is likely that I will either step on your toes or tick you off entirely. 

Jesus is leading me on a journey. One that I know will utterly result in the end of "me."  The end of my dreams, my desires, my hopes, my future, my plans, my goals, my ambitions, my careful planning. The end of all that I hold dear.  My spirit has been restless for ages. My flesh has sensed the undoing of all that I have ever known. This morning I encountered Jesus in such a way that I know, from this moment forward, I will never be the same.

Let's just say this... I'm not on a journey of self discovery- for I can already tell that there will be no more "self" at the end of this journey- only Jesus.

He is beckoning me to come and follow.

I could no longer ignore His gentle whispering. I could no longer ignore the inner gnawing of the Holy Spirit. I could no longer ignore my spiritual anemia- malnourished and in desperate need of an intervention.

Until this morning, the question remained: Do I remain where I am?
Seemingly secure?

Or do I raise my white flag in surrender- accepting the invitation to follow at any cost?

I was at a crossroad this morning, and Jesus was making it abundantly clear to me that it was time to make my decision.


You see... for years I have been disgruntled and discontent with the way American Christians "live out" the Gospel. I've been frustrated with the growing apathy many Christians display towards those who are suffering- the broken, the oppressed, the widowed, the orphaned, the poor... "the least of these". It seems that we are much more concerned with building bigger sanctuaries, padding our already large bank accounts, designing Bible studies and church programs to further bless the "blessed." Church leaders across this nation are misguiding their flocks into thinking that God's primary aim is to make us happy. That nothing pleases Him more than to see us successful and prosperous. Friends, this notion of a "Prosperity Gospel" could not be further from truth, and to buy into this is to miss out on God's heart entirely.

As the Bride of Christ, we are called to be broken and poured out (as Christ was) for a world that is lost, suffering, broken, and in need- both spiritually and physically.

The statistics on global poverty and human trafficking are alarming. A quick Google search reveals the following:

  • Almost half the world- over 3 billion people- live on less than $2.50 a day.
  • 1 billion children live in poverty (1 in 2 children in the world). 640 million live without adequate shelter, 400 million have no access to health services. 10.6 million died in 2003 before they reached age 5 (or roughly 29,000 children per day.)
  • 15 million children are orphaned due to HIV/AIDS (similar to the total children population in Germany or United Kingdom
  • 1.6 billion people- a quarter of humanity- live without electricity

  • There are more than 30 million slaves in the world today, more than at any other time in history. 

  • Human trafficking is the second largest global organized crime today, generating approximately $31.6 billion USD each year. 
  • Trafficking for sexual exploitation generates $27.8 billion USD per year. 
  • There are 1.39 million victims of commercial sexual servitude worldwide

 Where is the American church in all of this? Why are we not taking a stand? We have the money. We have the resources. We have the information and statistics staring us directly in the face. We have the ability but lack the heart. It's not enough for us to send over our people for a week long mission trip, passing out tracks and telling the locals that "Jesus Loves You," while their most basic needs are continually going unmet. 

My aching heart has been crying out from within me, "Is this it? Is this all we can do? There has to be something more. There has to be a different way. A way for the church to be the hands and feet of Jesus- to meet the tangible needs of the poor and oppressed. There just has to." 


I am at a crossroads because I can no longer look at these numbers and do nothing about it. I look around at all of the excess and it literally makes me sick. I cannot watch my favorite tv channels anymore because the constant message being broadcast over the airways is the idea that we need more. More money. More education. More space. More prosperity. More influence. More security. More luxury items. More possessions. 

We are spending far too much time chasing after worthless things the American Dream. I spent far too much time chasing after the American Dream. But as I said before... after today's encounter with Jesus, life for me will never be the same. 

I do not know yet what this journey will look like. I do not know where God is leading. I do not know how God is planning on using me to bring about His Kingdom purposes. All I know is that God is stirring. All I know is that God is at work. It's a leap of faith. It will require me dying to my selfish wants and desires daily- moment by moment even. 

But I am certain of this:
Where He leads. I will follow. No turning back. No turning back. 


  1. I look forward to your blogs!! They inspire me!! Well done Ms. Megan!! LOVE this one!! <3


    1. Thank you!!! I appreciate your feedback! It makes writing posts like these a little less scary to post :)

  2. No need to be afraid to speak your heart because of what the Lord is telling you. Always speak the truth no matter what anyone else thinks. (you have always done it in the past - so kieep it up)
    Love you & your spirit

  3. You've put into beautiful words so many of my feelings. A few years ago, I first heard someone say that the American Dream was empty (in church, no less). My initial reaction was to be put off, but as I really thought about it - looking at the clothes in my closet, my desire for some perfect house with all the right decor, my incessant need to belong - I realized it was true. The American Dream is a nightmare. Hubby and I have worked to really pare down all the excess in our lives and shift it to people who NEED. We stopped giving Christmas and birthday presents (nephews still get them, but no adults) and I cut my personal budget in half so we could give to organizations and missionaries doing real good. Now I'm on a mission myself to find a way beyond my checkbook and beyond leading a small group that I can preach God to the people who really haven't heard the gospel.

    Bravo to you. I will stand right with you in telling these truths. Our world is so broken and we're so concerned with celebrities and designer jeans and big houses. It must break God's heart. I have so far to go and our culture is a tough tide to fight, but I'm so glad to read this - it's so encouraging and I know as Christians we need to hear it!!

    PS - have you read Radical?

    1. Yes! I have read Radical! That was the book that started me on this journey. Since then I've read "7" by Jen Hatmaker and I am currently reading another one of her books- "Interrupted." {Read "Interrupted" first as it was the catalyst for "7"}

      Greg and I are literally taking a look at everything we have- from our bank account, our possessions, our house, our car, our time and resources- and asking God how we can bring Him glory and how we can tangibly meet the needs to the least of these. To an outsider, we currently look like every other American couple. Normal. Which presents a problem given that Jesus was the most "non- normal" {to use Jen's words} guy in history. If we are called to look like Jesus- and we currently look like the rest of the world- that's not good.

      We're wrestling with how to proceed on this journey. We have no idea at the moment what God wants from us. Other the past several months we've gone through every single part of our house {our closets, our attic, our garage, kitchen, etc} and purged it of excess and gave it away. I still feel as though we are only beginning to scratch the surface of what He is calling us to do. We too, feel the same way towards Christmas presents, opting to give things like mosquito nets, chickens, goats, etc in their honor to those living in other countries.

      It's encouraging to know that we are not alone. That there are other believers out there who are wrestling with the same issues. Know that Greg and I are standing right alongside you!

    2. I've got 7 in my Kindle (that seems sort of ironic, doesn't it?) to read after I finish my current book and I'll check out Interrupted. You guys are awesome! So blessed to call you friend!

  4. Wow, I am so glad I found your blog!! It is awesome. Your message was beautifully written. I am visiting from the Ark-La-Tex Blogging Girls, but I do believe I was meant to find you!!! :)

    1. Awww! Thank you so much Kathy! I appreciate your kind words :)


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