It has been two long years since the Lord first put it on our hearts to adopt.
And we are no closer to starting the necessary paperwork to begin the adoption process than we were the day the Lord called us. Why, you ask? Money. That's it. That is the only thing that separates us from bringing another child (or if God graciously lavishes His blessings on us, multiple children) into our home.
Simply put...we cannot afford it.
Even if by God's grace we did not pay a single cent for the adoption because of generous donors, financial grants, and fundraisers, we would still be unable to afford to bring another child into our home.
And this pains me.
Believe me, I have wrestled with God over this fact for two years now. Questioning why He would burden us so with the cause of the fatherless? Why He would call us to something only to seemingly abandon us in the process? Why I often cannot sleep at night because I am up thinking about our future children- where they are, what they are doing, how they are being treated. Struggling with how much longer we will have to wait to bring them home. Why, no matter how hard we try to improve our financial situation, we are met with obstacles that keep us from making strides.
It hasn't been until this week that God has finally answered my cries.
He hasn't abandoned us.
He hasn't forgotten what He has called us to.
He hasn't forgotten what He has promised us.
It is because He wants ALL of the glory.
It's obvious to say that at this point, our adoption journey is impossible.
But God is the God of the impossible!
He specializes in the impossible.
And He desires for our story to point solely to Him.
To declare to the world that it was He and He ALONE made this happen.
I still do not know the intricate details of how this will occur.
But it no longer matters to me now.
Because I have full confidence that my God will come through on His promise.
It does not mean to say that we will not have to continue to wait.
That we will not have to continue to make sacrifices and budget and save for this adoption.
That we will cease to be on our knees, pounding the doors of Heaven with our request.
But you know what?
I'm so thrilled to see how God is going to work!
I cannot believe that God would be so mindful of us, that He would choose to display His power in our circumstance.
And I cannot wait to give Him all of the glory for it!